Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars, and he’ll believe you.
Tell him a bench has wet paint, and he has to touch it.

How come SUPERMAN could stop bullets with his chest,
but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

Why is it called a HAMBURGER, when it’s made out of BEEF?

Why does SOUR CREAM have an Expiration date?

What would a chair look like, if your knees bent the other way?

If “Con” is the Opposite of “Pro”….then what is the opposite of PROGRESS?

Why is LEMON JUICE mostly artificial ingredients….
but DISH WASHING LIQUID contains real lemons?

Why do we put SUITS in a Garment Bag, and put Garments in a Suitcase?

Why doesn’t GLUE stick to the inside of the bottle?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have an “S” in it?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself,
is it considered a hostage situation?

Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow,
only to be troubled and insecure?