A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office.
Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?

I’m a chiropractor, and I’m just keeping in practice while I’m waiting in line.
Well, I’m a lawyer, but you don’t see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?

Lawyer Fees

A man went into a lawyer’s office, and demanded to see the lawyer. He was escorted into the lawyer’s office.

The man needed legal help, but he knew how expensive lawyers could be, so he inquired, “Can you tell me how much you charge?

Of course”, the lawyer replied, “I charge $500 to answer three questions.
Don’t you think that’s an awful lot of money to answer three questions?

“Yes it is”, answered the lawyer, “What’s your third question?