Patient: I’m in a hospital! Why am I in here?
Doctor: You’ve had an accident involving a bus.
Patient: What happened?
Doctor: Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?
Patient: Give me the bad news first.
Doctor: Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them.
Patient: That’s terrible! What’s the good news?
Doctor: There’s a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your slippers
A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging.
Dentist: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?
Patient: Why? Docor, it wasn’t all that bad this time.
Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don’t want to miss the four o’clock ball game.
Great Writer
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define “great” he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!”
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
Once Laloo Yadav, Sonia Gandhi, a saint and a schoolboy were travelling by a private plane.Suddenly the engine caught fire and the pilot came out shouting, “This plane is going to crash! And we have only four parachutes and there are five of us in the plane. Since I am a very important Indian Airlines pilot I am taking one parachute and getting out of here.”
Saying this he rushed to the luggage area grabbed one parachute and jumped off the plane.Sonia Gandhi said, “Since I am the future Prime Minister of India I am very important and have to live !” She also grabbed a parachute and jumped Laloo Yadav said, “I am the king-maker of this country, the most honest politician of India ….and above all the most intelligent person living in this country, and the most intelligent person must live !”
Saying so Laloo went to the luggage area, grabbed one and jumped off the plane. The old saint said to the school boy, “There is only one parachute left, and there are two of us. I am an old man and don’t need to live any more. You take the last parachute and jump.” The school boy said, “Don’t worry ! There are still two parachutes left with us ! The most intelligent person,Laloo Yadav, jumped off the plane with my school bag !”
Bihar Driving License…
================================================== ==============
DRIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON PHOROM
————————————————————————
———————————————————
NOTE: Please do not soot the person at the applikason kounter.
He will give you the licen.
For phurthar instructions, see bottom applikason.
1. Last name:
(_) Yadav (_) Shrivas (_) Pandey (_) Misra (_) Dot no
(Check karet box)
2. First name:
(_) Ramprasad (_) Lakhan (_) Sivprasad (_) Jamnaprasad (_) Dot no
(Check karet box)
3. Age:
(_) Less than phipty (_) Greater than phipty (_) Dot no
(Check karet box)
4. Sex: ____ M _____ P(F) _____ not sure _____not applicable
5. Chappal Size! : ____ Lepht ____ Right
6.Occupason:
(_) Politison (_) Doodhwala (_) Pehelwaan (_) House wife (_) Un-employed
(Check karet box)
7. Number of children libing in the household: ___
8. Number that are yours: ___
9. Mather name: _______________________
10. Phather Name: ____________________ (If not no,leave blank)
11. Ejjucason: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
12. Dental rekard:
(_) Ellow (_) Berownish-ellow (_) Berown (_) Belack (_) Other
-__________ Give egjhakt color
(Check karet box)
13.Your thumb imparesson :
____________________________
(If you are copying from another applikason pharom, please do not copy
thumb impression also. Please
provide your own thumb impression.)
PELEASE DO NOT USE PHINGERS OF YOUR LEGS
Use thumb on your lepht hand only. If you dont have lepht hand, use your
thumb on right hand. If you do not have right hand, use thumb ! on lepht
hand.
NOTE : IF YOU DONT HAVE BOTH HANDS, YOU CANNOT DRIVE.
WE ARE VARY ISTRICT ABOUT THIS
How would some common english sayings translate in hindi??
How do you do?
* Kaise karte ho?
Keep in touch!
* Chhoote Raho.
Lets hang out!
* Chalo bahar latakte hain !
Have a nice day!
* Achcha din lo!
What’s up?
* Uppar kya hai?
You’re kidding!
* Tum bachcha bana rahe ho!
Don’t kid me!
* Mera bachcha mat banaao!
Yo, baby! What’s up?
* Beti Yo, uppar kya hai?
She’s so fine!
* Woh itnee baareek hai!
Listen buddy, that chick’s mine, okay!?
* Suno dost, woh chooza mera hai, theek?
Cool man!
* Thandaa aadmi!
Check this out, man!
* Iskee chaanbeen karo, aadmi!
Hey good looking; what’s cooking?
* Arrey sundarta ki devi; kya pakaa rahee ho?
Are you nuts?
* Kya aap akhrot hain?
Son of a gun.
* Bachcha bandook ka.
Rock the party.
* Party mein patthar pheko.
Don’t mess with me, dude.
* Mere saath gandagi mat karo, e vyakti.
Deep within a forest, a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort, he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. “Dear,” she chirped, “I think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted.”
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