Ramayan by Bill Gates

Jan 28th, 2008 | By admin | Category: Humour & Jokes

When Bill Gates was in India, he had a chance 2 listen Ramayana from Vajpayee. After returning 2 US he wrote
it in his personal Diary which has been recently found (courtesy PTI). These are excerpts from his diary:

Ramayana by Bill Gates…

LAN, LAN ago, in the SYSTEM of I/O-dhya, there
ruled a PROCESSOR named DOS-rat. Once he
EXECUTED a great sacrifice PROGRAM after which
his queens gave an OUTPUT of four SUNs - RAM,
LSIman, BUG-rat and SED-rughana.
RAM the eldest was a MICROCHIP with excellent
MEMORY. His brothers, however, were only
PERIPHERAL ICs. Once when RAM was only 16MB, he
married princess C ta.
12 years passed and DOS-rat decided to INSTALL
RAM as his successor.However, Queen CIE/CAE
(Kayegayee), who was once offered a boon by DOS-
rat for a lifesaving HELP COMMAND, took this
opportunity at the instigation of her BIOSed maid
and insisted that her son Bug-rat be INSTALLED and
that RAM be CUT-N-PASTED to the forest for 14
years. At this cruel and unexpected demand, a SURGE
passed through DOS-rat and he CRASHED like
unstable version of AI MSN does in intel.

RAM agreed to LOG INTO forest and C ta insisted to
LOGIN with him. LSI-man also resolved on LOGGING
IN with his brother. The forest was the dwelling of
SPARCnakha, the TRAN-SISTOR of RAW-van,
PROCESSOR of LAN-ka. Attracted by RAM, she
proposed that he should marry her. RAM, politely
declined, perceiving C ta to be his SOURCE CODE.
She hastened to kill her but LSI-man cut her
inportant PERIPHERALS. Weeping, SPARC-nakha fled
to LAN-ka, where RAW-van, moved by TRAN-SIS
TOR s plight, approached his uncle MAR-icha. MAR-
icha REPROGRAMED himself to form a golden stag
and drew RAM deep into the forest. Finally, RAM
shot the deer, which, with his last breath, cried out
for LSI-man in voice of RAM s SOUND CARD. Fooled
by this VIRTUAL RAM SOUND, C ta urged LSI-man
to his brother s aid. Catching the opportunity, RAW-
van DELINKED C ta from her LIBRARY and changed
her ROOT DIRECTORY to LAN-ka.

————————INTERVAL————————————

RAM and LSI-man started SEARCHING for the
missing C ta all over the forest. They made friendship
with

the forest SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR Akshat
sorry… SU-greev and his powerful co-processor Ha-
NEUMAN. who agreed to help RAM. SU-greev
ordered his PROGRAMMERS to use powerful
SEARCH techniques learnt in CS130 to FIND the
missing C ta. His PROGRAMMERS SEARCHED
allaround the INTER-NETworked forests. Many tried
to EXCITE the birds and animals not to forget the
WEBCRAWLERS (Insects) and tried to INFOSEEK
something about C ta. Some of them even shouted
YAA-HOO but they all ended up with NO FOUND
MESSAGES Google, Lycos nothing was left
untouched. The only thing they forgot was to mail
iitcse01 & get PTI s help. Ha-NEUMAN then devised
a RISCy TECHNOLOGY and used it to cross the seas
at an astonishing CLOCK SPEED. Soon Ha-NEUMAN
DOWNLOADED himself into LAN-ka. Ha-NEUMAN

found C ta under a brown - green (as Brahma will call
it) TREE STRUCTURE Ha-NEUMAN used the LOGIN
ID (ring) to identify himself to C ta. After
DECRYPTING THE KEY, C ta asked him to send
STATUS_OK MESSAGE to RAM.

Meanwhile all raakshasa BUGS around C ta captured
Ha-NEUMAN to DELETE him using everything
including

Ctrl-Alt-Del. But Ha-NEUMAN spread chaos by
spreading VIRUS Fire . Ha-NEUMAN pressed
ESCAPE from LAN-kaand & conveyed all the STATUS
MESSAGES to RAM and SU-greev. RAW-wan
decided to take RAM head-on. One of the RAW-wan s
SUN almost DELETED LSI-man with a Brahma -astra.
But Ha-NEUMAN resorted to some ACTIVE-
Xgradients and REFORMATTED LSI-man. RAM used
the SOURCE CODE secrets of RAW-wan and wiped
out RAW-wan s presence on earth. Later, RAM got
INSTALLED in I/O-dhya and spreaded his USER
FRIENDLY PROGRAMS to all USERS and everyone
lived happily ever after, playing & enjoying AOE.

Ramayan by Bill Gates

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